A couple of weeks ago I wrote about finding things that surprised me while doing family research. This week's prompt is "family secrets." I haven't found any long-lost relatives on the Henrickson/Strand side. Yet. :) This is more of a surprise, and I guess it could be a secret too.
Something we often hear when people bemoan modern society is that no one stays married anymore. That back in "the good old days" people got married and stayed married forever. Celebrating 50 and 60 years of wedded bliss. That is false. People have been getting divorced since the beginning of time. It may not have been socially acceptable, and it may have been difficult if not at times impossible, but divorce has always been an option our ancestors had. I have found instances of ancestors getting divorced starting back in the late 1800's. Many times, there were no children involved, and the couple had only been married a year or two. The divorce that surprised me the most, though, was finding out that William and Mary Strandt had been divorced, back in 1917.
William Strandt and Mary 'Matie" Elizabeth Pulsipher were married June 8, 1888. By all accounts William and Mary often struggled to make ends meet. William farmed, trained horses, and worked as a laborer. He also drank alcohol, often getting drunk. One time William got drunk and into an argument with oldest son, Carl. William ended up chasing Carl around the house with an ax. William also moved the family to Illinois to find better work, promised by other Strandt family members. The better work never showed up, so William moved the family back to Michigan. Upon moving back to Michigan is when Mary's uncle gave her the deed to the Strandt family farm, which was wisely placed in Mary's name.
Finally, on January 13, 1917, Mary filed for divorce from William. She alleged Cruelty as the reason for divorce. "Cruelty" could mean anything from William being unfaithful, to him being a drunkard, to him being physically and mentally abusive. It was probably a combination of all of the above. One of my research goals is to find the divorce complaint that Mary filed that would cite the reasons for cruelty. We know that William contested the divorce. I would also love to hear his reasons defending himself. According to a newspaper article from the time, there was not enough evidence to grant a divorce. The lawyers got together and came up with a plan where William was given machinery, money, and a chance to visit the children at certain times. A full divorce was granted to Mary on July 31, 1917. She was 40 years old, had 4 children at home, and no job, that we know of.
When I found the divorce record, at first I thought it must belong to another William and Mary Strandt. The more I investigated it though, the more I realized that it was my William and Mary Strandt. I had never heard any mention of Carl's parents getting divorced. I knew he had a feud with them, and with his siblings, but I had never heard of a divorce. My mother had never heard of a divorce either. So, this was a family surprise/secret.
Now, I had heard the story of how Carl had fought with his parents over control of the farm so I wondered how that could have happened if William and Mary had been divorced? None of this was making any sense. I kept researching and then I found my answer. William and Mary HAD divorced, but then they had remarried.
On July 15, 1918, William and Mary Strandt remarried. They were married by J. Ford Stratten, Probate Judge. This record also confirmed that the William and Mary who divorced on July 31, 1917, were the same couple. According to the record, Mary was a housekeeper, which could have just meant that she kept house at home. Not that she was employed as a housekeeper. William was listed as a taxi driver living in Otsego.
William must've used the last year to try and win Mary back. I'm sure he said he was a changed man, maybe he offered to give up drinking? Either way, he got Mary to take him back. Not happy with the family reunification was oldest son, Carl. Carl and his father never seemed to get along and Mary taking William back was the last straw for Carl. Shortly after William moved back home, he and Carl resumed their fights. Carl moved out. The 1920 Federal census shows Carl working and living with a young couple as their hired hand. Later that year he would marry Mildred Bellinger and begin his own family.
I don't see this so much as a family secret, but as, a family event not talked about. Something better not talked about.
If you have any information or can add more to William and Mary's divorce, or marriage and relationship, please add them in the comments below. You can also email me.
It's a shame grandpa Strand couldn't get along with his dad or siblings. Maybe the divorce did play a big part
ReplyDeleteI think it was the getting back together that irritated Carl. And William's drinking. I think Carl kept trying to get along but when William and Mary refused to move from the farm after saying they would, it was the final straw for Carl.
DeleteWOW. That is a family secret! and you are right about people divorcing. it was NOT unusual. Just not as easy as it is today. Any search through any local paper shows lots of divorces back then. The papers are often quite open about the reasons too LOL. This is a real piece of family history and might go a long way to explain Carl's anger and long held animosity towards his parents.
ReplyDeleteI knew about the divorce but the am puzzled about the time frame. My mother told stories of Carl working for the neighbor when he was 7 or 8 picking up potatoes for a dollar a day to feed the family. He could also keep the ones too small to sell. Apparently Willam wasnt around to support the family. I was told the axe incident was after Carl had moved back to the farm with the agreement if he took over the mortgage which was in default for their agreement to deed the farm to him. You said Mary was a housekeeper but she was a teacher. I dont know what era this was. She even taught at the Wright school. Mom said when they were married he worked at the shoe factory in Otsego. They just tore the building down last year.
ReplyDeleteIt's possible Carl worked for the neighbor while young and William either wasn't around all the time or didn't provide much money for the family. The divorce definitely happened in 1917. Carl would have been 15/16 years old. The axe story was told to me by Fred. I assumed it happened when Carl was younger, but it may have been when he was older. Now, for Mary being called a "housekeeper," many times on marriage records I will see the occupation of a young woman listed as "Keeping house". This just meant that she helped keep a house. Not that she was employed by someone as what we would call a housekeeper today. In Mary's case it most likely meant that she kept house, taking care of the house and children. I found records of her teaching, but that was during the 1940's. After she and William moved out of the house.
DeleteI would love to read the original divorce petition. That would spell out exactly why Mary filed for divorce. IT would give the grounds. All we can really do now is speculate. William drank, had a hard time keeping a job, and didn't provide for his family. I would love to speak to Mary and ask her what was going on. Did she stay with William because he had irresistible charm despite the drinking and she really loved him, or did she stay with him because it was too hard being by herself and she felt a sense of responsibility?